Saturday, May 08, 2010

Mother's Day 2010

"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone."
Harriet Beecher Stowe

This is my first Mother's Day without you, Mother. And I have shed many bitter tears in the last two months. As painful as your last weeks and days were, I was grateful for the opportunity to tell you much that was in my heart. Yet every day, I think of something I wish I had told you, something I wish I had done.

Thank you for the countless things you did for me: sewing all my clothes, leading my Scout troop, sending me to camp, saving to send me to college, etc. There are literally too many things to list, but I remember something different every day.

Thank you for all you taught me: right and wrong, responsibility, to have high expectations for myself and to do my best, to be considerate of others, to think for myself. You can rest assured that if Debbie stuck her head in a hot oven, I wouldn't do it, too.

I wish I had appreciated much earlier in my life how much you had overcome, how much you had sacrificed, how strong you were. You occasionally referred to "during the Depression" or "during the War" or "when I was away at school," but it was only in the last months of your life that I learned of some of the hardships you endured. After Dad died, in spite of your visual impairment, and even after your stroke, you fought to stay independent.

And lastly I wish I had made all of those other Mother's Days more special for you. I know that you didn't care a bit about presents. What you enjoyed most of all was my company. I wish I hadn't been so concerned whether my own children would honor or insult me on that day, and had focused on honoring you.

So today, dear Mother, you may not be here in body, but you are always with me.

“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.
Abraham Lincoln