Sunday, March 15, 2009

This and that

I've been letting my blog slide lately, I'm afraid. I'm still writing a lot of articles on Helium. I'm really enjoying it, as I'm learning quite a bit as I research various topics. Plus, I have to admit, I'm kind of competetive, so I like watching my articles move up in ranking.

I've also been feeling down. Sometimes I feel so isolated, and it seems like even if I try to reconnect with old friends, I don't have any success. I think that in the past, when I was going through trying times with my kids, I was abrasive and alienated a lot of folks. Or, maybe we just drifted apart. Anyway, on a whim, I called an old friend and we talked a long time. We were catching up on some common acquaintances, and, in an off-hand way, she said something like, "oh, I think that was when Leslie's husband died." I couldn't believe my ears. Leslie and I had been pretty good friends in the past and I had known her husband back when he first came to the US from Croatia, but we had lost touch over the last 10 years. I deeply regretted the loss of our relationship.

And meanwhile, I've had several calls over the last month or two from an administrator at the center where my mother lives, reporting that my mother has been getting very angry and almost aggressive at times with other residents and the staff. I felt like I had been transported back in time to the days when I got all those phone calls from my kids' schools about their behavior! I called her doctor and he prescribed some medication, but it wasn't effective. So I did some research online and found that "inability to control anger and aggression" had been identified as a condition that occurs in 1/3 of people who have had strokes, especially those with left brain strokes and aphasia, like my mother. The recommended treatment was the use of an SSRI anti-depressant. So I called the doctor back, he prescribed an SSRI, and, thank goodness, it seems to be helping. I'm so relieved. I know that my mother is pretty isolated, due to her severe aphasia, and I would hate to think of her spending her last years isolated even more by being unpleasant to those around her. I think it would help her outlook if our family members would keep in touch with her, and I wrote everyone an email to encourage them call or write her, but no one but my brother in Houston has done so. I just don't understand...

Sometimes it seems as if some people have so many relationships, that some become expendable. But the folks tossed aside may lose their only connections.


Thom said...

Way back when we first met : ), I had an amazingly large circle of friends. Then, with the combination of a divorce, bad relationships, and leaving Maine, it has diminished to very few people - with only two new friends since I have moved here. I have tried contacting those who meant the most to me with limited success.

It seems that when my need was the greatest, the friends were there. That's the positive view. It also seems that when I finally found a stable and successful relationship (some happiness in my life), few people wanted to hear about it. That's the cynical view.

I suppose these things are cyclical. Right now, it sounds like it is a dry spell for both of us.

I don't even want to talk about family... but I probably will.

Joy said...

Galen, I'm glad your mom is responding to the medicine. And I know what you mean about people not responding to their own family members. To me, this society is so fractured that it's become easy for actual relatives to write each other off. To become apathetic to the needs of others. {Emotional/physical.}