Friday, December 05, 2008

As good as it gets

Incredible. Tonight Gabriel’s giddiness turned to moroseness. As we sat at the kitchen table, eating supper, he kept looking at me intently. If you ever saw Charlie Chaplin’s Gold Rush, it was reminiscent of the scene in which Charlie and a gold rusher were snowed in in a mountain cabin, without food. The gold rusher stares intently at Charlie, hallucinating that he’s a giant chicken…supper! That’s how Gabriel was staring at me. I started asking him if he were hearing things. Yes, voices. Did they tell him to do bad things? Yes, no. Was he seeing things? Yes, aliens. What were they doing? Trying to kill him. When you look at me, what do you see? Sometimes I see an alien.

That was it. Time to head back to the psych ER. I have to admit it scared me that he thought I was an alien, who was trying to kill him. I thought they would keep him at the hospital. I thought wrong. They STILL don’t think he’s a danger to himself or others, so they sent him home. Matter of factly, they stated that no drug is comparable to Clozapine, but he can’t take it now because of the white blood count, so although they increased his other medication, I shouldn’t expect his delusions and hallucinations to be controlled.

This, apparently, is as good as it gets.